The best doulo ever - birth and becoming a father in Barcelona

Here are some thoughts on my experience as a "Doulo" otherwise known as a prospective Dad after going through the birth with Viktoria. I'm writing this 2 months in, our baby, Clara, is doing great and fatherhood has been and is continuing to be a deeply enjoyable and fun experience. And tiring. It all got off to the very best of starts in no small way thanks to Viktoria and her whole approach to child birth.

Firstly the bit before, which now all seems so long ago as to be a different lifetime. Viktoria's preparation courses are very useful, interesting and offer a great insight as well as lots of practical tips. But it dawned on us about 5 mins in the the first session that we needed Viktoria on board with us for the birth. She is extremely knowledgeable about the local system and process here and comes with an extremely balanced view. She didn't oversell this but maybe he should have! I'm utterly convinced she made a significant positive difference for my wife and also for me as the dad.

The sad reality appears to be that in Spain women are, in the main, not treated very well in child birth and some have very bad experiences that may have been avoidable.

It's all very controversial, but from what we understood, being treated with respect and trying to avoid a Caesarian section are challenges with the local system here. You're far more likely to have one in Spain than in other countries and while sometimes it is of course unavoidable, Spanish women are surely no more susceptible naturally than anyone else. Something's not right here. But you can increase your chances of a good experience using a Doula like Viktoria.

Viktoria was always extremely fair and considerate, she never panicked us. But in reality there appears only one decent hospital here in Barcelona where you can opt for a 'natural' (I.e. what in the UK would be called a 'normal') birth: San Joan de Deu. 

I'm not going to go into the experience for my wife. Suffice to say it was challenging! Viktoria helped massively on the day. But few people talk about the experience for the dad, and rightly so, but it's a pretty big deal for us too. Going 'natural' at San Joan de Deu and more importantly having Viktoria by our side before, during and after meant I felt so much a part of it. I felt as prepared as I could be and I felt like I made a difference. My wife certainly says I did. Sometimes I think for the dad it can be a bit of a lonely experience where you're effectively excluded. Not for me! This meant a lot to me, and I believe it helped my wife through it all. 

Our comadrona was also great although I think we got lucky with a shift change a couple of hours in. 

It's hard to sum it all up without having to go into details, but I look back on it all as a happy experience. And it's not like we had a perfect birth. There were a few dodgy moments. But this was all handled professionally and Viktoria shielded us from the worst of it with what I'd call honest reassurance. The hospital was very good, the natural birthing room as a shower, a large bath, separate toilet, special chairs to assist etc etc. and it's a big private room. 

As chance would have it 4 of our friends also had babies over the summer and the experiences were all totally different, every birth is of course. But in my view something's seriously wrong with the system here (and going private is significantly WORSE by all accounts), I feel some of them had bad experiences in part because of the system. Doing it all with Viktoria may well have helped us have a positive experience, I'm convinced it did.

Post birth Viktoria also provided some great advice. 

Like I say it's all a blur now. But a happy one. Viktoria I think was part of that outcome for us and for me personally as a dad, it was a positive experience not a trauma. 

Paul